My New York movie buddy Kevin died. It has taken some time to craft this post. If I could have picked a brother – it would have been him. But then I suppose I did pick him.
For a brief moment, in honour of my friend Kevin, I want to pretend that I am sitting across from him at Spunto – our fave New York pizza joint – for an après Film Forum meal so I could tell him what I learned from him. Kevin would no doubt think this was saccharin and hate every single second of it. Kevin, take a sip of Rioja and brace yourself… here goes… this is what I learned from your life…
1. “Every decision to hold is, in fact, a decision to buy”. Kevin taught me that this not only applies to stocks but to much of life. “The past provides background but what’s relevant is the anticipation of what will happen in the future as a result of a forecast. To continue to own means you have a positive outlook. To sell means you do not.”
2. Jazz is good. Kevin would say something far more prolific here but this is one area we diverged on. I hate. Hate. HATE jazz. But I will always try to keep an open ear to attempt to hear what he did.
3. Apply intellectual rigor to your decisions (aka: be rational). Kevin would invariably get frustrated when I couldn’t back up my feelings with logic. Like my refusal to ever see a Leonardo Dicaprio movie. When pressed on why, the only explanation I could offer was seeing ‘skeevy’ Leo on the screen would take me out of any movie experience. This irked Kevin. I do concede I could use more logic rather than letting my feelings guide me completely. But this fundamental difference in our personalities was often fodder for some of our fiercest debates – often resulting in us yelling at each other in a restaurant. Something I always looked forward to.
4. The Red Sox are everything. I still remember drinking one of the best and coldest beers of my life in Kevin’s West Village basement apartment watching the Red Sox win the World Series in 2013. As devoted Red Sox fans – that night is a sacred moment in time.
5. Be yourself. The man was unapologetically himself. A character. One of his best friends described him by saying: “You’ll love him. Five foot one of radical conservative NY bluster…a great, entertaining character. Huge heart and as generous as can be.” You know how you often think ‘Oh my gosh, this person reminds me soooo much of you!!” I can honestly say that no one – and I literally meanno one– reminds me of Kevin.
6. If you have any respect for yourself and others – be accurate. Kevin’s attention to getting thingsexactlyright was his moniker. He would often send a page-long email (down to which subway car to be on) to ensure a timely and safe arrival at a destination. He sought the highest level of accuracy in all things. At all times.
7. Roger Ebert is a God. Nothing else I can add here.
8. Show up. Be loyal. Look after those you love. Kevin was inclusive, warm and welcoming. He showed up for his family and friends in every conceivable way that mattered. He drove from Manhattan to visit his mom in Philly every single week even though her Alzheimer’s meant she did not recognize him. He fought for the best health care for her. His loyalty to those he loved was unparalleled. Every friend of his knew they could absolutely trust Kevin with their life.
9. “The whore’s naked, make a decision.(That’s a famous guy expression)”: Kevin once ended an email to me this way when I couldn’t decide on an important matter. Kevin’s message revealed his pragmatism, humor and care.
10. “It is outstanding”. If Kevin described anything this way then you should watch it, visit it, buy it, eat it, or drink it. No question.
Below is a picture of the last time I saw Kevin. When I sent him this picture, he said the caption to the photo should read: “Kevin’s idea of splitting the baby”.
There are few people that make you feel safer by being in the world. Kevin was one. He was such a rare and beautiful gift. I can’t imagine a New York City without you in it, Kevin.Thank you for being one of the most loyal, fun, interesting, authentic, and accurate friends I have ever had.
