How to decide?

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A friend came to me the other day with the infamous question about whether to stay with the man she was with. Or leave him. I’m sure we’ve all had people we care about come to us with a significant question like this.

And to be honest, there is no perfect answer. But one passage written by Martha Beck eases me whenever I have to make a big decision. Here’s hoping this may help you, too…

“The Buddha often said that wherever you find water, you can tell if it’s the ocean because the ocean always tastes of salt. By the same token, anywhere you find enlightenment – you can tell it’s enlightenment because enlightenment always tastes of freedom. Not comfort. Not ease. Freedom.

The way you can tell you’re following fear away from your North Star is that while this course may feel safe, it will also feel imprisoning. The way you can tell that something lies true north, even when inner-lizard fear says to run from it, is that it feels liberating.

If you pay even basic attention to your own reactions, you can identify what I call a “shackles on” sensation and distinguish it from a “shackles off” sensation. This difference will be perceptible to you whether or not you are afraid to take a certain course of action.”

-Martha Beck

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